STBX is overwhelmed because she has t make sure D16 doesn't go near a bathroom for an hour after eating. If I was with her, I would do it, no complaining about a burden or a weight or a millstone or a noose.
D16 came to my place last night and she made a nice dinner. Unfortunately D18 came home to drop off her car, and D16 absolutely flipped out that D18 was in the same room with her. She has been attacked by D18 before, physically and emotionally, and ay actally have some PTSD.
Bottom line, D18 did not flip out, byt D16 kept going on and on, so D18 called her a wh*re! Nice. That was enough to cause D16 to have to go home immediately. STBX then calls and needs to de-construct the whole mess, step by step. Enough. Just hung up on her. I'm done with being interrogated.
That sounds all-around unpleasant. Amazing how we can act around people who are the closest to us. Take your two girls, for example. They would never behave that way with their friends, but each of them has the "comfort" and familiarity to be able to do and say these things to each other...
What happened to the family counseling?
And, an idea for stbx with D16...why does she have to view it as a burden? Hell, they can clean up together, then sit to play cards/do homework/watch a show together.....use it as positive reinforcement and a reward! I bet D16 feels the resentment from her mom, which makes her more anxious, which probably makes her REALLY want to purge! How hard does it have to be to hang out and not hover for an hour a few times a day? I would welcome the bonding time, even if they are just doing their own thing (like parallel play for little kids).
She's lucky she has the kids there with her as much as she does.
That sounds all-around unpleasant. Amazing how we can act around people who are the closest to us. Take your two girls, for example. They would never behave that way with their friends, but each of them has the "comfort" and familiarity to be able to do and say these things to each other...
What happened to the family counseling?
And, an idea for stbx with D16...why does she have to view it as a burden? Hell, they can clean up together, then sit to play cards/do homework/watch a show together.....use it as positive reinforcement and a reward! I bet D16 feels the resentment from her mom, which makes her more anxious, which probably makes her REALLY want to purge! How hard does it have to be to hang out and not hover for an hour a few times a day? I would welcome the bonding time, even if they are just doing their own thing (like parallel play for little kids).
She's lucky she has the kids there with her as much as she does.
Gym woman actually suggested we go to my HS Hockey game with S10. We took her D18 who is a pleasure and we went for pizza before the game and had a great time. Going to NYC today. Hockey is light until the weekend, and then it begins again. Things are going well. GW is a great woman. I'll keep my fingers crossed. The stuff with my D16 and 18 is RIDICULOUS. I agree with the bonding thing. STBX has always felt so put upon, so burdened......a martyr. Oh well..... Talk to you guys after NYC
Saw a niece and nephew for Christmas that were having so much fun together (playing music and singing). It was so refreshing because those two always fought like cats and dogs when they were growing up. I'm saying this to think maybe your girls will make a change in the next 10 years!!!
The day was great! Went to see the christmas show at Radio city Music Hall, Rockettes and all! The kids loved it. Went to have dinner. She bought the tickets, I did dinner. An all around great day. She is making dinner for S10 and me tonight. She insisted that S10 and I go to watch my school's hockey team play this afternoon!
