Whooeeee! Well, I have to say that I'm getting results!
I told myself about a week ago that things are going to get worse before they get better, and boy did they!
W texted me after the exchange above that she was coming to get S6 - I replied that I would drop him off, because we were playing Wii golf. She came anyway to get him, and she was spitting fire...
She came up and whispered in my ear, "I HATE you." Then she announced to D8 and S6 that she was going to start keeping them on Monday nights, and Daddy wasn't going to keep them anymore. I smiled, and said that I was very sorry she felt that way, but we could have a conversation about that wasn't in front of the kids. She kept on going, then marched them out. I told her we could have a calm civil conversation, but I wasn't going to fight, and she said, "No, I'm calm, just not letting you control me."
She said, "I could get full custody, I have 7 years of documentation on you, and I could go to court right now and file for child support, and get more money."
Then, "I can't believe you, you never change."
She rolled out - I was not going to make a scene in front of the kids, so I just smiled, and kept saying, "Not in front of the kids."
After she left, I texted her that I had documentation stating that Monday was my day, and I was not going to change. I told her I regretted that she felt so harshly, and I would be happy to discuss if she wished to share her feelings.
Then, I ended with this: "If you talk like this in front of the kids again, I will leave the room. I will not allow them to be used as pawns."
I left a message stating something like the following: "Hey, W, how's it going? Just following up on our chat, and I have the documentation here, and I'm going to have to stand firm on the schedule with the kids. It states here that I would have them Monday nights. I was a bit surprised by your anger, and I'm sorry that you have such harsh feelings. If you'd like to discuss without the kids around, then you are more than welcome to call me. I'd like to understand why you're feeling the way you are? Anyway, talk atcha later."
I talked like that on purpose, because I usually tend to respond pretty angrily.
This is probably the hardest part of dealing with W - she will come in, lay down her anger, and then trip out the door with no discussion, no warning, and then she'll seethe on that anger, and never let it go. I am doing SO much better, because I don't respond in kind anymore at all, but sheesh.
What fun! I'm pretty shaken up, but am going to hang tough. I'm thinking that she doesn't like being stood up to! Maybe it leads to ugliness, but I'm not going to compromise my kids - that is over the line.
