I had two affairs. He never knew about them. He came home from Iraq and I said I wanted a divorce. I thought I was in love with OM. Of course I wasn't and it didn't take long to figure that out. I wanted my husband! But I had already moved out and knew he deserved somebody who could be faithful to him. He finally asked about them and I confirmed them. I apologized. Of course now he doesn't want me back although I realize what a dumb a$$ fool I have been. Our marriage wasn't great, but it sure as heck wasn't bad either. He drank a lot the first 10 years but then quit. I'd already had the first affair by then. He would stay 3 hours past closing time at work drinking with his buddies then put our family in danger by driving home drunk. I felt like he had to be drunk to come home and deal with us. I wanted him to love me so bad but his actions said different! Fast forward 3 years. He is gone for 6 months and I am taking care of everything by myself - the kids, my own full-time job, my own full-time school, the house, and the dog. Then he calls from Iraq and wants things done for him from here to add to my already full list. To take the truck to get worked on, to go out and start the truck so the battery will be okay. I'm still mowing the lawn. I'm paying the bills. I'm at home all the time with very little interaction with normal human beings. It's like he doesn't even have a clue what I am doing. Oh, but someone at work notices and I am totally amazing to them. It is nice to have some adult interaction. I know I didn't get to this place on my own, but ultimately it was my decision, I know. So now I want it all back but he doesn't think he can trust me. And that's fine. I understand that. But he's not even willing to try.
I guess my question is, what makes you fellows willing to consider taking your wife back? What's the difference between someone who is willing to try and someone who is not? Maybe I should't ask this question, but if I was your wife, would you have been willing to try? I think probably yes, because you are on this website, but still, we all have different tolerance levels.
Any and all insight is appreciated!
Mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
