Tower

[Jayce]

Christmas was really good, hope yours was, too. Actually, anniversary, Christmas & B-day were all good.

Speaking of kids, I guess you being close to my kids' age I'm more a mom than a contemporary altho we share a similar problem. I thought it was more common in my generation for marriages to cool way off at least partly cuz back then living together, etc. was so NOT acceptable. A lot of couples got married kinda young cuz it was the only acceptable way to have regular sex w/whomever it was their hormones were raging after at the time--that rosy haze. By the time I was 30, I knew of 15 couples who'd married cuz of pregnancy and only 1-one-couple was still married.

Silly me, who knew the next generation would make mistakes even though they could easily live together before if they wanted to? Psych says we're not completely "grownup" till we're about 35. No guarantee maturity & experience won't change us so much we won't match our partners anymore. Did any of us in our 20's know what we really wanted out of life or how to get it? Easy to go along & not say anything about stuff we weren't sure of, just "trust" that things would work out. Then one day we realize......

Its possible your Dr. can recommend a counselor who would be good with you from knowing your personality & challenges. I've met several psychologists and a few psychiatrists and have seen a wide variety of personalities and approaches. Not all had clinical practices, but the ones I could relate to were the more down-to-earth, logical types. Not so touchy-feely-head in the clouds. Think about what personality you'd look for.

One psychologist told a neat story: Couple came in, H complaining W wouldn't go bowling anymore. They'd met bowling, dated while bowling, bowled on couples league, etc. Psych asked W why she wouldn't go bowling. She said "I hate bowling!!!!!!" Psych asked why, then did she go bowling before marrying? W said "Because that's what everyone told me to do to meet a man & get married." The psych burst out laughing. We can all see why it was funny and what did the W expect.... and know at least one couple like that (baseball, golf, bridge, dancing, whatever)and sure hope to heck it isn't us!

Anyway, go. You don't have anything to lose. Maybe W will realize she can go alone when you do. Pick whomever she likes & not have to talk with you present. Opportunity for clarity. Get a fix on where you are, how you got there, what you want now and for your future. Chasing your thoughts in circles wastes a lot of time. Been there, done that. No perspective possible from inside a circle.

Happy New Year. Love ya, kid
Jayce