(((Mishka))) I am doing my best, but it is times like these when part of me, I am sorry to say, hates my H. I am sick to death of this stupid crisis, and really have had enough (at this moment anyway...tomorrow is a different story). I am tired of the tears, tired of missing him, tired of feeling like I continue to try and do what is best, what is right, what will make him the most comfortable, and I feel, honestly, like I am getting the short end of the stick. And I am, and I also know that right now it is not really his fault. He is sick. And I also know there is no guarantee that this will even work. I get that. But dammit, I want answers. Of course, I also know realistically I am not going to get them.
Today is just a day that I could seriously chuck the whole thing and walk away. But I know that tomorrow, I may feel different.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Heck Lola, I still feel differently every day and I'm D'd now.
IMO, DB is great as long as you are sure that you are taking good care of yourself. Once you stop doing that and only dwell on what you can do for the WAS to keep them comfortable around you that is when it needs to stop.
Take care of you and pray!! You will get answers that way.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Mishka how right you are. I am doing well generally. I am finding that shutting the ringer off on the phone, and actually walking away from it has helped me to detach in a lot of ways. I don't constantly worry so much about H now, although there are times when I obviously still do. My life has taken a generally good direction. I am pleased with the way things are going.
But I gotta tell ya, part of me is ready to chuck this whole thing. I am so frustrated. And it is getting old. I know I am not ready to let go yet, but at the same time, I am really ready to move on.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Here you are Lola! I was looking for you in Separated! You are so strong, and we've both been at it for a long time. I can't tell you how often I feel the same way you do.
I like the mental picture of you smacking h on the head. I think I'll use that one. Just hearing that sound...whack...whack...whack...getting lounder...WHACK! I like that!
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
LMAO! H has this military haircut, so that most of his head is bald. The sound of my hand hitting his head would be so welcomed right now...
I accidently whapped him in the back of the head one night in class, well not accidently but I didn't mean to do it as hard as it came out, and the entire class (H included) burst out laughing because of the sound. Right now, though, I think as angry as I am, it would probably hurt...
But sometimes, the truth hurts...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I now have a good job, and am becoming more financially sound with every paycheck. Of course, it does not hurt that tax season is right around the corner
I will be moving into my own house (won't buy in this market, but renting is a sure thing). That search begins next month, and I suspect will take up a lot of my time. I am hoping I will have enough left over to purchase a new living room set.
I am supposed to quit smoking, but I am vascillating on that one....
Other than that, honestly, I am just enjoying my life. And for the most part, I have really good days. Even today, all things considering, is a good day. I think it just hit me that I am really sick to death of my life revolving around H, and feeling like I need to kiss his butt.
He should be kissing mine.
But I don't expect that either, I just vow that I am going to continue to move forward. No D filing, if he wants that he will have to do it.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Two days later, and I feel really good about myself and my sitch.
Isn't there some kind of pill that will just make the roller coaster go away?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
