Goal with the ring is this: I have said from day 1 (August 2006) that I was a family man, committed to marriage, never allow divorce, blah blah blah - I beat on W for months about "commitment" and all that, which meant diddlysquat to her. Unfortunately, I didn't read DR until well into this. I have pushed commitment, and why don't you honor your marriage, and I never gave her any feelings, just paperwork and promises. I haven't stopped believing in promises, but since W wants to feel, it just pushes her away.
Jon, I'm calling your bluff. Right now, if you were in front of God, would the ring be on or off? Your entire quote is laced with feeling toward your W. What do YOU think about the ring? What does it mean to you? If the ring is on or off, your married. The ring is symbolism.
Yes, you pushed and pursued. That is the old Jon. What does new Jon think? Are you still a family man and committed to marriage?
If she had a prob with the ring, it's HER problem. A strong, honorable, confident man makes no qualms as to "why" he wears (or doesn't) his ring. Make the decision for you and where you are. To me, taking off the ring means your ready to walk away from this. But you have to mean it.
Originally Posted By: JonF
Maybe I'm misguided, but I wanted to show her that I'm "letting go." I'm certainly not available - I don't know, maybe there is a better way to show her? I feel like the ring is punching her in the eye, though. Maybe that's me being a wimp and cowing down though. Sheesh!
If you take it off because you ARE letting go, then I see no issue with taking it off. You better mean it. The last thing you want is to be putting it on and taking it off all the time.
