Explain to me "work on word usage?" I thought it was because of my text abbreviations, but thinking you mean something else?
Certainly. When you've been with someone for so long they know when your faking. Maybe your faking validation or your mad but trying to hide it. Even if your an expert in controlling your emotions and voice inflection, your word usage will be a dead giveaway.
Here's an example. You may use the phrase "I don't care" when you don't agree with something your W does but you're "taking one for the team".
Instance: W says, "You mind if I have dinner with the gals tonight?" You've worked all day, have a headache, your tired and don't really want her to go. But you know she needs a break too. You decide to take one for the team. You respond, "I don't care". Your W knows that is your standard response when you really mean, "I care, I don't want you to go, I'm going to be mad if you go". This triggers emotions w/ in your W. This causes her to be uneasy and she can't enjoy her time out with the gals. Then the night is no benfit to anyone.
Now, if you used the phrase, "No, I don't mind at all. Enjoy your night and have a margarita for me". This will not cause any emotional triggers for W. She will enjoy her time out, be more appreciative and relax more.
In addition, you'll be more interesting to W. Think about the people you enjoy talking too. Not only are they good speakers but they use intersting words. They don't repeat the same phrases often. They chose the right words. YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO THEM. This will also help you grow as a person.
This doesn't mean grab a dictionary and pick out the most obscure word you want find. It means, change your standard responses and phrases, unless, it's an inside thing between you and your W.
The last example sucked so I'll try something simple.... W: "Want to go to the movies tonight". Jon: "OK"
See how boring and uninteresting that response was? Now think about how interesting a response like "absolutely, I would love to, gladly, certainly, I would like that" sounds. It's just more engaging.
This may seem trivial to most, but I have found this little growth excercise is very valuable in interacting with anyone. Think of it as a PMA.
