I'm not sure that she feels what she is doing is "wrong" - although the attempts to justify it are a little extreme.
Your W knows it's wrong. We chose to do wrong things all the time right? Drinking, smoking, speeding, rolling stop signs.... We all justify wrong things. This is just a whole lot more "wrong" than the day to day stuff. This justification comes from extreme emotional issues. You'll hear many justifications. I heard at least 8 differnt ones. Your W has hurt she burried for years. Again, nothing you can do about the past. Work on you.
Originally Posted By: JonF
Anyway, I'm seeing so much conflicting advice that I'm still pretty dadburn confused. Lots say stay "friends" and you'll maybe win them over - others say put your foot down and don't tolerate it. Is it a personality thing based on W? Or is it a combination of both - make clear how wrong A is, and then be courteous when interaction is required because of kids?
I position is you should act friendly ane be mysterious. Let your W lead any talk and never get upset (remember ducks back). You must have bounderies and enforce them. Example - No OM talk around you, etc. You decide what they are.
Originally Posted By: JonF
I guess I feel like there are only two options, and believe there's gotta be a better third option: Option 1: Be hard-core: do not accept it, file divorce, take down all pictures, take off ring.
Option 2: Smile, and get shat upon, and just be there through thick and thin (smells like cake-eating?)
Option 3: Man Up. Have courage and honor. Be strong and patient. Be friendly but don't pursue. Smile, be funny, confident, work on your word usage. Get some new clothes, go out and build your social network. Get out and talk to people. Learn to manufactor conversation with strangers (when you start doing it, you'll see why it's important). Find YOU! When you W takes one step toward you, take 1/2 step back. That should keep you busy for a while! Time is on your side.
