I'm really not spinning Mike, I'm just tired of it dragging on and on. She says that it is getting better but that is her canned responce. And of course she thinks its getting better, its all about her needs right now. I see things improving but I guess I want more, I need more. A more physical sign that things are improving. I would take a simple ILU from her, something to indicate that we are moving more in a direction that I want it to move.
And maybe I am asking too much from her, I don't know. I just know what I am feeling and what I need. I am trying to give her what I think she wants/ needs but without input its hard to say I am giving her exactly what she needs. You know what I am saying.
I felt I needed to give it a kick start, a push in the direction I want it to go. I just hate this feeling I get after I bring stuff up and I should not have to feel this way but I do and what else can I do? Its not a now or never thing but more of a, I have done alot and put alot of myself out there for our M/R now I need you to kick in here and help out sort of thing.
Is it wrong of me to expect a little effort on her part if we are in fact "getting better" as she says. And she may be trying but not in a way that is apparent to me or helpful to me. I have change my aproach to meeting her wants and needs is it too much for her to do the same?
I did say this morning that I felt we were going around and around in a circle. She said at least we are in the same circle. Yea, Haw now we are two dogs chasing the same tail.
One last thing that is running through my mind. When does it turn from an individual effort to an I have done all I can alone, in order to suceeed we need to do this together deal. Because I feel that I am here.
