So today is a day when I just really want to vent.

I am sick to death of this crap. Oh, I realize this has nothing to do w/ me, and H is concerned right now he is going to have no job at the end of the year. So lets get that out of the way.

I have been dealing with this shiznit for almost 15 months now. The up and down, friendliness then pull back. Lately it seems that H and I communicate very well for a week, maybe two, and then all of a sudden I do not hear squat. Calls go unanswered. Texts go unanswered. I don't do it all the time, but I am trying to get business stuff out of the way so I can file my taxes. And nothing. Nada.

And then, when he does call, if I am not READILY IMMEDIATELY available, he calls two, three, four times in a row, like I am supposed to be sitting by the phone waiting for him. Uh...no...I do have a life. He wants me to be there when he needs me to. Fine, I can accept that, but WTF? I mean, can't he understand that THIS IS WHAT HE WANTED!!!!! I didn't want this. I wanted to be a good wife. I still want to be a good wife. But dammit, that does not mean that I should have to be a good wife just when he needs it!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!

I can picture it. I am standing in front of him, and can hear the resounding slap of my hand against the back of his head. No, I am not violent, but man it would feel good right now, maybe to knock some fargin' sense into his thick skull. I would like to get the business card of a local proctologist just to give it to him with a recommendation that he get his head out of his butt.

I am tired of this crap. I love him, but when is enough enough? I know only I can answer that. But I also have to say that the anger that is starting to seep in feels better than the stupid, depressive melancholy that I have been feeling.

Okay, vent over.... \:\)

Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..