The holidays have me crashing in a big way. My last post is just that. But I do, for the most part wonder if there is a me. It has been so long, and I mean really long time sinc eI put me a head of anything or anyone. I am that type of person.
I take my responsiblites much harder now than the past couple of years with all my weekend partying and drinking. I stay on top of these things and attack home projects. Getting my physical house in order. I don't want to linger too long in the no self attitude. Becasue I am afraid that is where I will stay. I am very confident, have strong self-esteem and huge self worth. I go out, once a month at least (mostly once a month) and enjoy myself. Last 3 times out, two dnaces and Xmas eve, I drank, I fell back to where I was when everything started, I lacked the strength to stave off drinking too much and not at all. I haven't drank other than those three times, that is a huge plus....Haven't really thought about it even. I am definitely doing more self reflection from this past weekend, it is due and I have to face it when it comes. I am going to try and get a card game going at my house this weekend, invite my friend over or go visit my cousin. Either one will be good for me. I neded to get out of my house, so seeing my cousin might be best.
I have a question for all of you, I am sure you have all felt it at one point in time in your sitch, when you got to the point where you felt you were just shoveling it against the tide, that nothing was changing and that you were totally friustrated with your situaiton to the point of giving up, how did you snap yourself out of it? God calms me down, keeps me from flying off the handle, but what things did you do to get past this...?
