I know what you mean about just existing. I think that is a good way to look at it. "A time to heal". I've been trying to look at it as a time to grow as well.
And I know what you mean about the spouse seeing differentiation as pulling away. A few years ago I was really getting my own life. I was going out to concerts with friends a couple times a month and having a good time. When I started doing this, I was including H in my invitations, but he never wanted to go so I stopped inviting him. After a few months he sat me down, said he thought I was pulling away and asked me to stop. So I did. Funny that now the shoe is on the other foot how my asking him to come back to the R is "controlling".
But now I'm pulling away again. Who knows what will happen now.
"Authentic Self"...I like that term.
Married - 19 years Noticed Problem - Aug 2008 THE Conversation - Oct 2008
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
