He is definitely the breadwinner, but I've always had the stable income. His business has the potential to make a lot more money than my income, but it is based on whether his clients pay him. I think I have been controlling in the past in order to get our bills paid, but since this started happening, I've dropped my OCD need to get everything paid all the time. I can't stand late fees! This isn't easy for me, but at least I'm not asking him about where his paycheck is all the time. I thought that we were partners in this, but maybe I was nagging him from time to time.
WCW, I saw something interesting that someone wrote on your thread that struck a cord with me. Something about how your H used avoidance to control/manipulate. I never thought about it that way, but I think my H does the same thing. His whole mode of operation is to ignore and avoid. I just thought it was his way of coping. You know, if I ignore her long enough she'll just go away. I've seen my H do it with his mom too. I never thought about him using it to manipulate me. What do you think about it from your perspective? You've lived with it a lot longer than I have.
Married - 19 years Noticed Problem - Aug 2008 THE Conversation - Oct 2008
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
