Last night I was sitting in the living room watching my son and daughter bake a cake and my wife cooking dinner. It hit me that this may be the last time we well be together for Christmas.
I went to our bedroom before I started to cry. When my wife called up saying dinner was ready I replied I was in the bedroom. She came to the door and repeated that dinner was ready. I asked her when she planned to tell the kids about wanting a D. She said not this break and then went back downstairs.
I got some PMA and went down to dinner. After helping clean up the table and try my daughters cake I went down to hit the treadmill. I have gotten over my cold enough to exercise.
When I came up the living room lights were off and my wife was up in bed. I gathered up and took out the garbage and changed the cat litter. I put dishes in the dishwasher and started it and went up stairs and went to bed. I said a silent prayer and had a calm feeling knowing I have been trying all I can to save the marriage but I still had a pit in my stomach and sleep very little. I was careful not to touch my wife but at 1 am she put her arm around me and I held her hand. I asked if she minded if I took the pillow out between us. She said she didn't care. So I did and she held me for awhile. She then rolled over and I followed her and put my arm around her and she held my hand. Nothing was said between us. She rolled on to her stomach and I rolled back over. She was tossing and turning a lot both before and after that.
This morning I asked he she was a awake and wanted to talk. She said sure. After work I will fill you in on what was said. It is still clear she wants a D and said she did not know how to separate our finances. I replied It is going to be hard.
I started to get up and she got up and grabbed her pants out of the bathroom. I replied I was just going to weight my self and then go exercise. When I came out of the bathroom and looked at her she replied that I had a strange look. I said what kind of look should I have. She gave me a 1/2 of a hug and I left to go downstairs.
She has checked on me twice as I type this. I keep putting up a different window whenever I hear her coming.
When is it time to go dark with the LRT? More tonight
