Gucci, W gets me - she may be in a really bad place, but she gets my humor and stuff. We have always had inside jokes, and she will pick up on it - that's why I was so happy. Maybe I'm fooling myself, dunno.
I have very clearly stated to W that it IS an affair with a married man, and that marriage deserves respect at the least. Actually said we could get a dissolution in 30 days to do the "honorable" thing. I told her it was wrong in so many ways, and told my kids about it (making her mad). I tried to do the right thing, she refused, it's now on her conscience, and I don't worry about it any more.
You described why I'm so torn:
Quote:
You won't earn her respect back until you show her that you won't tolerate a PA an EA or any type of intimtate relationship with OM.
My catch-22 is that W says our problem is that we haven't been friends - so my 180 would be just being a nice casual friend. But how do I balance that without approval? Do I just completely ignore her? Wait til the A fizzles out? File divorce?
My Christian beliefs mean that I can only get a divorce for adultery - I know some people say that EA is same thing, but I don't know, would rather be sure. And, I don't know that OM isn't just a shoulder to cry on - I honestly don't believe it's a PA, because W would absolutely rub it in my face.
Now, I'm not going to accept an EA at all - I took of my ring (a 180). But what do you do? Just patience?
Anyway, I'm wide open to suggestions. I am NOT going to mention OM again.
