Because I had NO CONSCIOUS intent to control CJ, or make him feel badly!!!
Quote:
It's all a bit perplexing to me. I suppose it comes down to not only learning about another person's point of view, but accepting it to a point of willingness in which we can override our seemingly benign atempts at freedom of expression - specifically within the parameters of said topic.
Okay, maybe I'm weird, but I knew exactly what you meant here.
It's about RESPECTING another's POV, and being conscious and empathetic about how OUR behaviours can come across. And then pre-empting ourselves with another way of expressing what we mean.
For example, why couldn't I have just asked if his book was interesting??????????
Or just kept right on reading Harry Potter with a smile???
Now I HAVE done lots better with this stuff, folks. But how about this for...weird?
Last night we went to the living room to watch T.V. it was late, there was a Nefretiti special on...(we like archeaological, scientific programming). What I had rolling in my mind was to ask CJ to sleep in the bed tonight, he sleeps on the couch most nights as I cannot sleep through his snoring and have had to work in the "morning".
But with no alarm awaiting me, it's not as bad and I could always hit the couch if necessary...but before I could make the offer (which I eventually did, he was comfy as is), we had this little thing with the remote control.
A little background: Prior to the bombs, I pretty much had the remote all the time. Didn't know it bothered CJ, he didn't make a big (or any to my recollection...but we all know how good that is )deal of it.
Well since the bombs I've left the remote to him, I'd say over 80% of the time (do you agree CJ?...geez I wish he'd read this every couple of days...I know I Sure as hell would if HE were posting )
Well last night I mentioned that "Ebert and Roeper" were on another channel, too, for "flippage" (something to watch during commercials). Well he started flipping over during the program, about every couple of minutes (there was local news on that channel, he expected it to end any moment, but it went on for a full half hour).
So I said, (nicely, I think ) if you don't want to watch this, I can go in the back (2nd TV). He said no, and made to give the remote to me. I said no a few times, but then he was falling asleep (made the bed offer) and that was that.
So, guys, (and it probably IS the guys who can see this, if anyone can) what could I have done differently there? Or is it just some residual "reactive" behaviour on CJ's part??
OR...Am I making mountains out of molehills????
Yes Jeannine, it IS good that CJ brought this up in a way that I HEARD, what is more than a little disconcerting is that I didn't HEAR him the first two time he tried to make this point!! I AM thick!
)deal of it.
