Another One Bites the Dust (3)

[No Longer BH]

Thank you one and all for all of the wonderful support. It has been a very trying month for me. OEO has not held back in the mental abuse that he has in store for me. First, it starts with how I am being a horrible parent because I need time to heal from his infidelity. Then, he decides to consult with many expensive Ls in order to file stupid motions against me. He is hell bent on trying to get full custody of our son even though there is nothing to stand on. In the process, he is draining our finances so that we have nothing.....absolutely nothing. I have been reduce down to asking friends for hand me down clothes for my son because I cant even afford to buy him a coat or pants. Our mortgage payment is now 2 months behind. I truly think he is going to just let the home go into forclosure so he can fight me on god knows what.

I am tired. So very, very tired. This is not the path I wanted to take. I did not want things to get ugly. He feels he is justified in his actions because I asked him to no longer have any contact with me. I think I have reason to ask this of him. I mean I had to face a life threatening disease w/o him and deal with my son's depression and suicide attempts alone as well. Why is it so wrong for me to say I need my space to heal??? Even my son's therapist has said that O' Enlightend One should NOT be in my home. He says it triggers abandonment issues with our son. This is not healhty for him. Does OEO listen???? No, instead he uses this as his ammo to fight against me. I feel cornerd and dont know what to do. On one side is me and the therapist saying OEO should not be in the home....on the other is him saying that I am being mean and vindictive and he will not stand for it. He will fight me for full custody because I asked for peace. He is claiming I am being a horrible mother now, even though up until this point he has claimed I am a great mom. WTF????

SO, I have not been posting much because I am drained. I dont want this to go to L's but at this point dont see any alternative. He is the one chosing how this fight will be conducted. I am done. Completely done. Its funny, my brother made the comment to me that he could tell that I now see this as a finacial decision while OEO still is looking at this as an emotional deciasion. Why? He left me for his fat ugly maggot. I am now moving on and letting go. I dont want him in my life anymore. This is what is triggering all of the uglyness. I just dont get it. Maybe somebody who is a bit further along can shead some light on this........please??????

I am just trying to live buy the 90/10 rule......10% of life is what happens to us and 90% of life is how we chose to react to it. I am trying my hardest to react in a positive dignified manner...lord knows he is making that hard as well.

Thank you friends for being my support and checking on me. It has been a very rough month and I feel emotionally drained at the moment.........