In my mind I was asking because to ME, relaxation does not involve work-related reading, but he made it very clear that he enjoys this stuff, thus it’s NOT work. And even if it WERE, who the hell am I to tell him how to relax at camp!!!?
Okay, here is an example of what I do with my H as well. I say something with one intention only to find out (or not, until some heated discussion down the road) that H has interpreted it in a totally different way.
It's difficult to know when you've hit a nerve because of the electrically charged gridwork that hovers between incoming and outgoing signals.
I don't think you were "mean" in your behavior. To my way of thinking, you were curious and paying attention to detail. What you said, and why you said it, made perfect sense to me.
However, my H would probably readily agree with your H's take on the situation and the word "controlling" would end up being the centerpiece of their conversation.
It's all a bit perplexing to me. I suppose it comes down to not only learning about another person's point of view, but accepting it to a point of willingness in which we can override our seemingly benign atempts at freedom of expression - specifically within the parameters of said topic.
Now, by the time they figure out what I've just said, they'll be too tired to misinterpret it.
CJ appears to be learning a new skill. He was able to communicate to you his feelings and what sparked them. I'd call that "good growth", yes?
As far as disagreeing on what was said in the past, that too is another area in which my H and I seem to be living in parrllel pasts with potholes. I have my laptop journal to refer back to and have found H's memory is not always in full throttle either. So don't think that it's just you.
