It's Complicated! Part 2

[25yearsmlc]

GG,
haven't even finished reading the other posts but saw that you wrote your h was "supposed to be there at 10" (EXPECTATIONS AGAIN....) "BUT h is (already) late and if he isn't here by the afternoon, I will have to call him..." wth? WHY??? OMG, come on. Re-read the posts. Get out Plan B, now. How has calling him after the fact (or EVER, recently) helped YOU?

Life is passing by, and tomorrow is promised to no one. Don't wait for him anymore. Your kids childhoods will be over soon enough, will they have ANY memories of NOT "waiting for H", or "being with H", "disappointed by h," or "missing H", or you "expecting/thinking of H"...blah blah blah. Enough. Your life, their lives...are NOT ABOUT HIM...

You are inadvertently teaching THEM that YOU and (therefore THEY too), need someone ELSE in order to have a good full life. You don't. They don't.

No more calling b/c "he isn't here by"....whenever... HOW does that help YOU?

When I was 16, I started to date a guy I really liked. But he was a "player" with a record of being late, even for dances I had to attend on time (student council stuff). I decided that given the nearness of our homes and his history, if he was more than 15 min late without a call, I'd go on without the bf and NOT be angry, just "busy" with my life and all. I told him ahead of time I'd do this, not as a revenge thing, but as a necessity. Well, next time we had a dance, He was late. No call. And I left. Met him at the dance and we had fun. I had danced with other guys and who knows what the bf thought. But He was NEVER LATE AGAIN and I never spent any time waiting for him either.

Of course it might not have changed his behavior (though it did). But the point was, I didn't waste my precious time. That's ALL I could control anyhow.

Okay, now I'll read the rest of the posts. But when I saw those words from you, again, I couldn't wait to say SOMETHING....I want you to know YOU CAN DO THIS if you just...start doing it. This is hard, but it's NOT complicated.

j-