I know that there will probsbly be a lot of judgemental people responding to my story...that's okay though, I suppose I deserve it...I deserve it much more than I deserve my family back.
Married eight years, together nine...two kids four and six. So, it all really started about eight months ago. I was out of town for a month...I was having some relationship problems, we were fighting when I left, and she took her ring off and said that while I was gone, I really needed to think about if I wanted to stay in this relationship. Unfortunatly, I answered the question by having an affair. The affair lasted about two months...and ultimately, the OW told me that she was pregnant. I had told the W that I didn't think that we should be married anymore and she left. I came crashing down to reality (for a moment), and went to my wife, confessed everything and asked her to come back home. She did, and to her horror, I let her stay there for a month while I decided which girl I wanted to be with. Ultimately, I decided that I wanted to stay with my wife. She didn't want me to have contact with the OW anymore. I was scared that if I did that, she would use the baby to make things difficult for me...due to situations that I will leave out, it could have been really bad for me to let this get all out in the open. So, I kept in contact with her...in only what I thought was protecting myself (That is the God's honest truth, I discovered that she was lying in almost every way she could to try and become the "perfect mate", in an effort to take my W place...she's a bit on the psycho side). Things started getting better...we had some fights...about other things than the OW...we never did go to counseling to work through the OW issue. Then I really screwed up. At the end of November, she went out of town (I didn't because I had to work part of it), and ultimatly, after I was done with my work, I left town too. I had a friend going through a rough spot (horrible divorce), and I went to see them at their request. I lied to the W about it, because she wouldn't have understood (I understand now this was the wrong choice), because said friend was female. Nothing happened there, as it is a platonic relationship...although my W doesn't know the girl...didn't even really know about the girl. My W discovered I was lying, but didn't know what was really going on...I confessed to her...she said that she felt completely severed from me and left with the kids.
Since, I have seen here a couple of times...kid stuff...we seem to get along okay, unless it's talking about relationships. So, at the advice I got elsewhere, I prepped a lengthy apology, breaking down every little thing, acknowledging each thing, and apologing...then went LC...I call everynight to speak to my children. Also, have started going to church, and going to therapy to address my issues. Completely severed the OW relationship, as well as the friend that I went to visit...I even went so far as to sever a 13 year old friendship with a man that was intertwined on the A.
I had talked about the relationship with her after she left...I think it was prob counter productive...she got very angry and told me that she intends to file for serparation, then divorce...she wants to have a year before the D to have access to medical insurance and such. She also stated in that conversation...it was very early after she left...that she love me, but she didn't feel a romantic love for me.
