{{{Tawnya}}}, I do remember that, and like I said - she has never said anything comparing us or saying she wanted to be with him. I think one time she said, "I like him." Otherwise, it sounds like she's describing her neighbor's sister's daughter's friend.
The plot thickens, and REALLY is starting to make me mad. D8 and S6 wanted us to be together as a family to watch ball drop.
I asked W, she said no, I told kids, they asked why. I asked W, she said, "Just tell them I'll have them next year." I told her that I was going to have them just start asking her, and that I would not deal with the fallout and consequences for her actions, and have to look at disappointed face.
She got all mad, started telling me to leave her alone, and that I don't listen. Then, oh my goodness, I was SO POed, she forwarded me a text from the OM! Let me give some background - apparently she has been telling him I demeaned her, belittled her, and caused her "anguish" (not true, and the things she IS talking about happened at least 5-6 years ago).
I'm going to put it here in total, the text from OM she forwarded: "Forward this,please: a man who belittles, demeans, and causes anguish for a woman. Is no man.he is a coward.worthless. You do not listen. If you didyou would be leaving her alone.she wants nothing to do with you. You've had your chance. Nine years worth, right?Instead of continuing to waste everyone's time,you should be praying for common sense."
P.S. The poor punctuation is OM's, not mine!
Anyway, OM is married and apparently separating from W, so I sent back this, laughing wildly:
"Please Forward: a man who can't keep his own marriage together has no business getting into others. A man who doesn't respect marriage is no man. He is a coward, worthless. And needs help with his punctuation."
Ok it was silly and childish, but oh that felt good. Interestingly enough, here was his zinging response. "Stop, man, you are making me cry." I was like, Good Lord, is this man in 3rd grade? But, I didn't expect much anyway.
Then, I texted W, "Anywaaaaay, back to YOU and ME - I asked for the truth on the affair, and it's up to you to be honest. If you won't say, I will leave you alone and do my best to be a friend to my wife."
I said "Don't forward me anything else from him. He doesn't know you or me or our kids or our lives. I will respect YOU and what YOU say only."
She said, "You don't respect me."
I said, "I sure do - do you think this is fun and giggles for me? If I didn't respect you, I wouldn't want to be with you."
LESSONS: 1. What I gleaned from this is that OM is just a shoulder to cry on, and not much to write home about overall. Can't even do punctuation right Hah, sheesh the crap that OM/OW are is unbelievable - Tawnya, you understand how stupidly low they dip. 2. W is STILL hung on stuff that is six and seven years in the past, and still has alot of bitterness that she refuses to let go of or get counseling for. Not sure what to do with that. 3. W still refuses to come clean on whether A is PA or not - either has received legal advice not to admit, or it isn't PA, and thinks that I will bug her because she hasn't met divorce "requirements". 4. I have a LOOOOONG road to haul.
So at this point, I have no idea what to do. I guess I'm going to do what I last said to W - be a "friend" to my wife. When I see her I am going to smile, be chipper, and cheery, and DEAD silence on the phone/or texts. I'm going to completely ignore the existence of OM, period, and if brought up, politely decline to discuss.
Now she is texting me and kids funny things about Sound of Music that we are watching (she is at work)
