Separated for 2 months... ice is thawing a little

[optimistwife]

Hi CL,

Welcome to the place no one ever wants to be... But look at this as the opportunity to make needed changes in your relationship and get things right- starting with you. It sounds like you have already started that process by seeing some of the things that have contributed to your separation.

That is a first step. For me I never thought things were so horrible that this should have happened, but the reality it doesn't matter what it was to you- it was horrible for your spouse.

I highly recommend a DB coach. Mine (Jody) was invaluable to giving me advice on specific things to do which I am SURE helped save my marriage. It is really helpful to have the insight of someone who deals with many of these situations and has helped turn them around.

Since you are in the first stages of this my advice to you is to not talk about ANYTHING relationship wise if you can help it. Just act happy with your new situation. When I was at your stage I remember the advice to me from my DB coach was to validate my H and tell him that it was a 'good' thing that we were separated so that we could take time to work on ourselves. Ug that was hard to do!

But... my H and I are together again! It has taken 6 months and there is love again in our relationship. H still has not moved back home, but is staying here a good part of the time. I do hope that this experience will solidify our marriage and make us stronger than ever...

I hope that it will be the same for you too.

As one of my friends said- you will live and feel like you have never before during this time... Open your eyes and heart and appreciate it...