Hey, Jon! I'm popping into your thread belatedly, I hope you don't mind my intrusion, so to speak. I appreciated the words of wisdom you gave to me and thought I might pass some on.
I read that dialog between you and W, and I wanted to remind you something you've already sort of realized: you need to validate your W.
For instance:
Quote:
W: "Our marriage was crap for 8 years, and ME I was standing up for myself."
(Note: I've heard this alot)
ME: "Sorry, I'm calling bullshit. There were bad times, yes, but there were awesome times. Maybe I'm a Pollyanna, but you're the Grinch."
Seems to me a better approach might have been something along the lines of "I'm sorry you felt that way. I can't change what's happened in the past, but now that I know how you felt, it's possible for us to shape a future that's brighter together".
Or something similar.
Validate, validate, validate. I think you already said you saw the responses you weren't happy with, anyway, but I figured an outsider's example might be helpful.
Keep the faith, my friend!
Bomb Dropped - 11/08 Working on the R - 12/08 (thankfully short period of time!) Still DBing to see positive changes!
