The last time I had a true visual on him was in November 2005. At that time, he was grossly overweight, shaggy beard, dead eyes, wrinkles around the eyes and it was an extreme effort to get any time of a smile from him. It was all about him. Everything was poor me this or that. He was talking about he had no home to go back to since his mother, father, etc. were gone. Apparently his aunt sold his grandparents' home and to him that was home since he lived there off and on as a child.
Today, well...he's still into the me pity party. Every time I correspond w/him, he's ill or had an accident of some sort. Oh, he did remarry, but everything is "I did this or that". No mention of the wife (HO). He finds every excuse not to visit his home town and his favorite uncle (pre-crisis) has only seen him twice since 1999. He's never come out of the deep sleep and I suspect he never will.
Just listen and validate. No expectations. Okay? Each one of these guys is going to experience the crisis differently.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
