NW, Veronica, CL, and GFI, Thanks so much to all of your for helping lift me up some today...I was really having a hard time yesterday - and reading all of your words have been so very important.
So I'm just slowing down my thoughts - and being open to the emotions that pass through me. One thing that I realized today - well, more like something I remembered - is that I have a tendency to absorb the emotions of people around me - so I think being around my brother and my sister - who are both in troubled marriages - just left me feeling a lot of their sadness - and that's really unfair to me and to them - since it is their sadness to feel...not mine.
I read through my posts from Sept and October today - and saw a lot of what was going on - and got a reminder of how bad things were at home...how sometimes there were these glimmers of hope - but how they would almost always be destroyed when she would go visit her parents for a weekend...there were two times when I noticed that things were showing the baby steps of improvement - only to tumble downward as soon as she would come back from a trip to see them...she never talked with me about her trips - only insisted that they were great visits - so I don't know how it really was.
I'm going to have to give myself more time to understand what I'm feeling - and even what I'm thinking - and also where the pain comes from...since I know it's a sign of something not being right.
GFI - my subject...when I was in graduate school I specialized in Medieval Literature - with an emphasis on German, French and Latin...for the last nine years though, since leaving graduate school, I've worked as a freelance writer - writing anything from consumer catalogs to Web sites - and a few episodes of a children's TV show. The goal right now is to go back into academics - mostly to teach - and still write fiction and screenplays...I've written a novel, but haven't ever tried to get it published...and I have two other novels that are at about 200+ pages but in need of attention...
Anyway...with my specialty - finding a job can be tricky - so I'm looking more for something that allows me to teach critical reading and writing skills.
