Keeping my spirits up

[Lissie]

It was difficult, it IMO will always be difficult to not continue a family tradition as a family. Oh well, another unnecessary piece of collateral damage from the bomb. I can tell you that I was extremely grateful for all of the texts from my friends on this board, that really helped hold things together.

I think it is wonderful that you are writing down your feelings, you sure do come here so much less and that is a wonderful thing. You are out there, getting a life, living. Good. It does get mushy during the holidays and this has always been the safe place, I think that is why I have logged on to read also. It's like Welcome back Carter. Familiar. A part of us.

I felt sad for you when i read the above quote. Sad b/c I hope that next year, you can get through the holidays looking forward to YOUR traditions and not looking forward to what is MISSING from the prior traditions.

It is one of these situations where the "adult" in us needs to take hold. BLAH !

So much easier to stomp and pout.

Do you remember your Christmas last year? Carrie slept over, on the sofa, so that the kids could see you guys as a family?

Do you remember how she went with T bug or Ross to the store to get some movies you wanted and how she hid them in the garage, and is that when she made you that pie? I could be mixing up different events.
I think that was for Christmas.


Do you remember that she was still with her BF, but she came to the house to stay anyway?

I am not defending carrie in anyway. I believe she is about as big an a$$ munch as they come.

I just remember thinking how difficult that stay at the house could of been for her but she did it anyway.

She gave as much as she could.

She has drawn her own boundary.

She wanted this divorce, she wanted this life. This is what she has, and she is going to make the most of it. Right or wrong, she has made her choice.

Is it a choice that has come with the biggest blows of pain that you ever imagined? YUP.

Can you imagine following thru on something, even tho you know that the path of destruction that will lead to it will hurt so many?

What an awful feeling she must have had inside, to want to get out of something so bad, that to get what you want, it involves causing hurt, losing loved ones, losing the love of your daugter etc etc.

She needed to breathe, in her own warped demented way. She just needed to breathe.

Did she take the cowards way out? Absolutely. That is her style, and as crappy as it is. You need to accept it. Not for her F her. For you, and your peace of mind.



Let her go. And you really have done that so much already. I know that times like these you can get down, and get angry. Lord knows I know that anger.

Be free!!!! Allow yourself to enjoy YOUR new traditions. YOur new relationship, your new found relationship with your children.

Love her enough to say to yourself. "I hope that this new life brings you the peace that you have been so desperately searching for" , and close the door, and breathe.


You had a loving marriage for so many years. Some poor souls never know what it is like to look over at the person you love, in the morning, and get that sleepy "I love you"

You had that. Thank God for that, and also thank God for opening a new chapter in your life. We need to step up our faith at times, and trust.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
Buddha quotes

“When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.”
John M. Richardson, Jr. quotes

“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”


“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be”
Marcel Pagnol quotes