Hi everyone, Hope you were able to enjoy Christmas. I am at the public library since my Mom does not have internet access and this is the first chance I have had to check in. Thanks for your posts. I do agree that Marriage builders are very tough love. My H has been totally in the fog babble since he left in Oct. I have the double issue of the A and him drinking again. The OW I have discovered also has a drinking problem. My H has been watching our dog while D15 and me have been back to visit the family. He sends me a text yesterday saying I am going away from Monday to Sat - on vacation and you need to find someone to watch the dog. I turned it back on him and said you wanted to watch OUR dog so you need to line somebody up. Totally disrespectful. He also has been spending money like crazy and draining all of of our money and has now withdrew a chunk of money from his 401K for spending money with OW. I don't think I can last with db till he figures himself out from this fog, or crack up a car or bring us to financial ruin. I have to think of my D15 also. I still love my H and want my M but until the OW is out of the picture we have no chance, and with his drinking he is really spiraling down. As most people that have alcoholics in their lives they haveto hit rock bottom. He is heading that way. I have been talking to my family about options and if worst comes to worst I can move back east with family till we get back on our feet. This OW is a gold digger (per PI) and looks for men who will take care of her. If my H no longer has his job she will lose interest in him in the end. If H hits rock bottom then the only place he can go is up. I would not tell my H that I turned him in. He already thinks that other people in work know about the A. PM I loved your post, and I agree with most that you said in sickness and in health, but I almost feel I am saving H's life by turning him in so he can start to deal with his "demons". We can find another place to live, he can find another job, those are all secondary. If he stays with OW and continues drinking he could end up dead or worse. I am spending this time back home praying and asking God for guidance in this. It has been such a difficult time. SF, glad you stayed with family and had a good Christmas. WIT, I did play a role in my M issues but our M was definitely workable, if OW did not come into the picture we would not be where we are now. Will try and check back in the next few days. Take care and God bless.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
