Jeff, you say you can't get your outer game until you have your inner game. That's how you feel and I respect that.
What I offer is for you to make some baby steps and start with your outer game. Getting involved with something may just be a bandaid at first and avoiding dealing with your inner issues. BUT, it may also be just what you need to start getting some feelings of security and esteem about yourself. Get involved, do a good job, get WOA from people.
If you make a list of what you have changed in your life from the beginning of this year to now, how long would your list be?
Jeff, have you ever been spontaneous?
A plan is good, but don't spend all your time thinking about how to make a plan. Just do it.
(((Jeff))) BTW, glad you're not running around in loin cloths with a club in your hand looking for your manhood.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
