Ignore the affair or throw him out?

[gucci loafer]

Well,
Here is one who got kicked to the curb and is now willing to do anything to reconcile.
She took charge IMMEDIATELY. Observe what happened. Listen to what he is saying NOW.
still_hopeful_to_reconcile

had an affair in the fall of 2005. XW was told about it by her brother who was told by their mother. Yes, I made many bad choices in making the affair mistake. As anyone who has an affair will probably tell you, there were reasons (translation: excuses) why I had my affair. After XW find out, she told me to move out and I did.

Ah ha... Look at his response when she CONFIDENTLY told him to immediately move out.... Changed man huh?

I began seeing a counselor, and I told her that the affair wasn't meant to end my marriage; I didn't want a divorce.

Looks like kicking him to the curb worked quite well. I don't recall him saying that SHE tried doing any 180's to change herself like many on this site do.

Lastly, I am sure that others have had a much rougher path to reconciling, but I want to know what all of my brothers and sisters here think about my scenario and I would also greatly appreciate any encouragement you all can offer as I stand firm in my quest to reconcile my marriage and win my family back.

This man is like most men. They respond best when a woman gets strong. They respond best when the woman lets him go.
This is no different than the men on here who are betrayed spouses who didn't wake up until the wife wanted out or said she was done.


Here is another example

LoveNoMatterWhat

Hi everybody,
Here is my situation. My wife of 6 years finally had our divorce finalized about three month ago. She filed and was right for doing it. To make a long story short, I left the house and moved in with a guy friend of mine. For the next two years I was in and out of my wife/daughters life. In short, I neglected them and I was wrong for doing it. I always loved my wife, but I couldn’t handle the stress of being a dad at the time. I never wanted children (so I thought) and I guess you can say our daughter was unplanned. She was right for leaving.

Notice that he did NOT wake up UNTIl she let him see she was done with him.

About six months before the divorce, she would beg and plea for me to move back in – to be a family. I was stupid, immature, and did not realized what a great family I had till it was taken away.

His OWN WORDS. "He didn't realize what he had UNTIL it was taken away."

About two months before we got a divorce – I guess you can say I woke up. I realized that I did love my wife and daughter – that I really did what to be with my family. I asked my wife to take me back and she told me that she didn’t love me anymore. I made the mistake and begged, cried, and pleaded with her to take me back. I only drove her further away.

I want to be reconciled with my ex-wife so badly. I love her and my daughter so much. I didn’t realize the sacrifices and work that having a family takes – I was a fool for ever leaving.

Look what happens when they find someone else.....
Total turn around for the relationship. This woman had once been the one begging and pleading and trying (which didn't work) and suddenly lets go and the tables are now turned. Look who is begging and pleading now.

To further complicate things, she has a best friend (that's a male) that she has known for about 20 years. Her best friend has always been there for her and my daughter, especially when I left the house. Although they are only friends, they are in the process of buying a house together. She tells me that that is the only way she can get a house in a good neighborhood for our daughter. I know that she doesn't have feelings for the guy, but I am having a hard time dealing with it. She calls me on the phone and tells me how excited she is about finally having a house for her and our daughter (we always lived in an apartment). I tell how that that is awesome and that I am so happy for her. Even if she gets the house with her best friend, I still plan on not giving up. It is just right now I am in so much pain and have been crying almost every single day.