Thanks Gypsy, so much. I am definately feeling more 'good' than 'bad' these days. I feel very alone raising the kids, but I don't feel overwhelmed by it, make sense?
One thing I forgot to mention, xH came by on Christmas night and the girls gave him 2 small gifts I had purchased for them (marinades for grilling and cooking). xH said later "Take these back, I didn't get you anything and now I feel awful". I told him that was not my intention, that I am not hurt he didn't get me anything (in the past I would have been, but surprisingly I am not) that it meant nothing other than a gift for a friend, no hidden messages.
He called back later to say again to take them back, he felt weird taking them. I told him it was fine, I am fine. I won't make that mistake again, never meant to make him squirm, guilt him, or anything. Really, I bought them weeks ago and never worried once about the implications. He left them at my house, I won't say another word about them, and I put them away in our generic gift box (last minute gifts for people lol).
