out of clever titles

[hoosiermama]

Thanks, Snodderly. I don't think you've ever posted to me before--I appreciate it.

Companionship--yes. Someone to share things with. Romance is highly overrated and short-lived.

Not surprising that H has kept the friends. He's gregarious, charming, and somewhat manipulative. Everyone likes him. No matter what, apparently. On the other hand, I've essentially spent my life trying to be useful, independent, taking up as little space as possible, staying out of the way, leaning as little as possible, being as low-maintenance as I could be. Hoping people will care about me as much as I care about them simply because I can be helpful to them. And I've been really successful at that--I've been needed. And when the need is over, so is that relationship. I'd have been a good nun. H is just the opposite--a taker, not a giver. We've each gotten exactly what we've worked toward. I just didn't realize it would look like this. I am admired, remembered with gratitude--but not sought out to be good company. I hope you're right, but I can't see that changing with time. I have no "old friends." I have always been this way.

Speaking of nuns--I'm driving a group of friends to a Christmas open house at a convent today. Haven't heard from them in a month--until they needed a ride. It will be pretty, I'll be grateful for the company, D12 has been looking forward to it. I was supposed to be a lector in church this morning; last night I looked up the readings to practice. Literally--how husbands and wives should treat each other; wives, be submissive to your husbands, husbands love your wives. I cannot stand up there and say that--the floor will open up and swallow me up!