Thing was when I thought he had an affair back in May, I was ready to forgive and forget. I kept telling him that too. I really thought he just did it because he was emotionally distraught and not thinking clearly and really needed someone. I had convinced myself that he was just looking to fill a void. Then when he said or it seemed like it was over..I believed him. I figured he realized his ways and that he was going to try. What I realize now is that he would never talk about it. He never said ANYTHING abt specifics. This left it all up in the air. It wasn't a door that was closed just one that he closed for awhile while he got everything else in order.
see she is married as well. Her husband was away in Iraq. I believe he came home this summer and she needed to work out her issues. Now that they both did what they needed to and he finally filed he could jump back into the relationship. I don't think he ever really ended it. I think looking back it was one of the reasons he didn't want to come home at all. If he did he wouldn't be able to call and email her without me knowing. He needed to keep it secret. Looked better and then he could file a no-fault divorce..stating marriage was irrevocably broken..
Now I am really pissed and I want to change the filing from a no fault to a fault. Stating the affair. I don't know if I can do it but I am going to contact my lawyer on Monday.
I feel like he was just playing a game with me all along and I was too stupid to see it. I played right along because I wanted so much to believe him and wanted it to work. I was so stupid. He did all of this so he would look good.
Well I certainly hope he ends up happy. This will be the 3rd time they got together. They were together 2 other times and couldn't make it work.
He should know by now that all lies eventually come out. And it is ALWAYS worse when they do. I realize that we are separated so he has a right to date as do I, so that is not what bothers me, it is that he lied about it. He stated over and over again that he wasn't that there was no one. And if it were just someone he met and went out on a date it would bother me but this is obviously more than that. You don't go away unless there is more to it.
I probably won't sleep tonight. He is so mad at me right now. Not that I care. But of course this is all my fault according to him. I was the one who ruined us he says.
Oh well. someday this will all be over and happy days will be here again.
