Luci in piecing!

[Luci]

Hey there. New to piecing! My original thread can be found HERE!

A few things before I start:

I was reluctant to continue posting on the forums because I know several people look down on those that are not officially married. I also know my sitch was thankfully a short one - lasting only about a month.

However, I'm here for the same reason everyone else is: because this almost-four-year-long relationship is unlike any relationship I've ever been in. I feel very strongly for this man and what we have together. If people are meant to find their "other half", I certainly have. No amount of effort is too much for me.

We were as committed in our four years as anyone with an M on a piece of paper. Nearly losing him shook up my life and my heart, and if I can use DBing techniques and advice, I aim to do that. This R is worth it.


I'll admit, I was horrible at DBing. BF and I are both very aggressive, outgoing personalities. For me to sit back and bite my tongue is not easy for me, and I back-slid horribly more than thrice twice once. Now that we're solidly trying to piece together our R, I find it incredibly hard to do a 180 and not show "more of the same" behavior.

For instance, his irresponsible money spending blows my mind. Before, I used to nag. I used to mother. Now, I'm trying to remind myself that so long as his half of the bills are paid, it's not really any of my business. He's a big boy and he's capable of making his own choices; even if I think they're poor ones.

I'm also having a hard time using my actions to encourage things - for instance...more help around the house. Before, we'd push each other's buttons and degenerate into some pretty unfair territory. Over housework, of all things. Now, I'm trying real hard to lead by example and watch my hard work spark an equal reaction in him. It WORKS! I just have to remember this and use actions instead of words.

I plan on using this new thread to get advice on how to handle situations in a completely different manner than I did before, so that I can figure out how to pick my battles and give BF more of what -he- needs to be happy (which means shutting my mouth and LISTENING), rather than bickering and arguing ourselves into losing each other.

When we're on the same page - man, we're a great team.