Okay, lets remember that I am an employment attorney not a domestic relations attorney but I will pass along a bit of what I learned from my visit to a DR attorney in NC:
There is a claim for abandonment in NC, if I remember correctly if you can show abandonment, it will be a factor the judge considers in determining the amount of spousal support.
In NC, the law says there is a "dependent" spouse and a "supporting" spouse. Obviously, the supporting spouse makes more money and thus has to "support" the dependent spouse. Then, there are other factors that the court considers (cost of living for each spouse, infidelity, abandonment, etc.)
The judge will look at your expenses and determine the standard at which you were both living as a couple. She then determines what percentage of the income each spouse contributed to that standard of living. Let's say you contributed 40% and H contributed 60%, then the starting point is H has to give you 10%. If there are "aggravating" factors by the supporting spouse, such as infidelity, the amount can be raised, (Note that if there are agrravating factors by the dependent spouse, the dependent spouse could lose all right to the support - so do not do anything that even remotely resembles a date until you have been separated for more than one year). The rule of thumb for the length of time support lasts is 1/2 of the years of marriage. So if married 10 years, you get 5 years of support.
Given that your H is involved in an A, if he was honest with the attorney, he is probably already worried about that factor. He will not want to add abandonment to the mix. (By the by, Tawnya, keep the copy of the bank statement you have with H and OW's name on it and don't you move out of that house.)
Again, I am giving you the, "I am not a divorce attorney" disclaimer, but I am an attorney and I took copious notes when I met with my DR attorney.
