I'm going to make a suggestion and I'm sure others may disagree, but you need to just listen and validate. Your h is the one that has to work through his anger and if talking about it helps him, then listen.
I wouldn't suggest an IC right now. It would sound like you are trying to tell him what to do and I don't think he's in the right frame of mind for that suggestion right now.
Back off, sit quietly and listen. His anger has to burn out at some point and he'll settle down. That's when you can suggest the emails be deleted. He's not ready to delete them and start fresh because his anger is still to hot.
GG, don't try to rush the process. Just go w/the flow and continue moving forward.
As for your xh, call him and advise him that his communication with his son is between them. If he can't reach him, leave a voice mail and if your son so chooses to return the call, he will.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
