Not much has changed. The closer we get the more attached I feel to her, but she doesn't feel the same. I thought it would be a good idea that we go away with some friend over the weekend. However, her F decided that we should all go on a cruise. Really her F wanted us to baby sit her underage kids. I declined the offer and I thought my W did as well.
I found out my W was still going to go on the cruise. She created a huge amount of debt b/c of her MLC. She opened up her own bank and credit card accounts. I confronted her about going on the cruise while she owes so much money. I told her how stupid it was to do something she couldn't afford. I also told her that I wasn't going to bail her out again. I remind her about our arrangement we had from the beginning. If we lose our gas or electricity that's her problem.
When her MLC started, I took the CCs away from her. Then I took the ATM card away. She managed to get her own CCs and that's when our money problems started. In my state I can't speak to a debt colletor about her problems. The only way I found out was from a collector who wasn't familar with our states rules.
I'm not sure if I'm responsible for her debts.
I already bailed her out when our electricty got shut off. She called me from work crying. I paid the bill. Then she had the never to fly off to visit a friend for a week.
We got in a fight about the utilities. I asked her to let me know when we're behind on the bills. She told me that she leaves the bills on the table for me to look at; she doesn't I found the utility bills in a plastic bad hidden, hanging on a doorknob. She has the only key for our PO box. I had the lock changed so I could get my own key. She lost my key.
Before her MLC she was never like this. We had bill problems, but we worked on them together. It hurt when she opened up her own bank account. It started off by all my pay going towards the major bills. Her pay went towards the utilities. If any us made extra money it went towards the CCs.
It's been a few week that I've kept quiet. Nothing else seems to work. Lately she's been cranky. I can see her trying to connect to D10 with some success. One minute she's happy and the next minute she's jumping down my throat.
I fear she's still living in the past. I offered to fix something; whichI haven't done in years. She snapped at me and said I'm always trying to fix things. That may have been an oportunity to listen - I'm not sure. I told her that I haven't done that in a long time. Then went into my bedroom to work.
I'm not sure what it happened, but something happened. Then it unhappend (if that's a word) again.
Last week her hugs were tighter and longer. I thought maybe she's out of her MLC. Then the hugs got less affectionate and shorter. That's when I gave up, so when she hugged me I stopped hugging before her.
This week the hugs are rushed and short. My W has been coming to bed the same time I have. We'll hold hands and during the night, my arm can go around her without her trying to break my fingers.
Last night she slept on the couch. Usually, the television is on, but this time it was off. I asked her to come to bed and she sounded drunk. Eventually, she came to bed and we help hands. She complained about being cold so I coaxed her into laying in my arms. Something she use to do a long time ago.
I think my W and I are at a very crucial stage in our R. I can put my arm around her in public. However, she still doesn't know if she L's me. I feel like I want to move on.
I think my W and I are at a very crucial stage in our R. I can put my arm around her in public. However, she still doesn't know if she L's me. I feel like I want to move on.
Tough choice for you my friend...and really a slow long road. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, I think piecing was tougher than standing, is still at times.
I can tell you that it was worth the trip for me.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
