No angel here for sure, but your comment is interesting. See, I actually feel how these things are positive compared to how H used to be. There is still a long journey ahead for the whole H to reappear and be the man and the H that he was. For some reason God put me on this trail, maybe He knew I had to get stronger on the inside and this was the challenge for me.

It would be real real easy to complain about all the things that aren't right yet, but I choose to focus on things that have changed and are so much better than 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years ago. H is not back to being my partner yet but he does not act like I am his enemy anymore.

The thing that has helped me the most is the hard work I put in to regain the happy pieces of my life. I let too much slip away when I was losing H, I didn't have the gumption to go back to doing everything on my own. You see, when I let H into my life we were the type of couple that did everything together. Our hobbies were the same, our friends were the same, we traveled, we volunteered, we built our place, we had it all and I felt so blessed and considered us the Golden Couple.

I had given up my own identity to become an extension of H. He was the guy in front with the ideas while I was the doer in the background. (remember his 'engine' comment?) When H emotionally divorced me he left in every way except he came home to sleep. We lived in the same house and could go for days and not see or speak to each other. I HAD to step and take care of me and this place. It took me too long to get here but I did. Can you tell I am not a 'snap' decision maker? lol

That's the long answer to how I put with H's crap.
The short answer is that I moved forward and rebuilt my life so I feel good about what I do and who I am. If H steps in and fills the spot I have left open for him that will be a bonus.

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.