I was unfaithful

[Sanderika]

M....

I am so happy that you had a lovely Christmas.

Your H bringing you food and lovely gifts is a GOOD THING.

Your H took the time to think about a gift(s) for you.

Your H took the time to buy a gift(s) for you.

Your H took the time to wrap a gift(s) for you.

Your H came over with gifts and food and genuinely wanted to make Christmas a GOOD day for ALL of you.

Your detaching is the best thing for you and him right now. I am proud of you. You will continue this tug of war within yourself. This is very hard. You are now on the right track. Maintain it.

Your Christmas was wonderful.........

My H came over on Christmas at 1:30pm. He brought a gift for son. We watched son open it and he loved it. I was very glad for H that son really loved his gift.

I was in the middle of putting together a lasagna, so after the gift for son I went back to the kitchen to finish that.

My H came into the kitchen and placed a Victoria's Secret bag on the counter. My H had bought me a gift. It was the first gift H had bought me since 2004. I was so speechless, my heart was pounding. I opened the bag, H had bought me a beautiful silk nightie. I think the fact that H bought me an "intimate gift" was huge.

NOW.....I asked H why he bought me a gift: H said "I wanted to buy you something because you have been really nice to me". He also said "you have been wearing some really cute things and I wanted to get you something that was cute on you too".

M....I want to share this with you.....In my sitch, my DB is bringing my H and I closer to each other.

We still may end up D'd but my H and I have travelled miles back towards each other and yes it is taking a long time. It is OK.

I did not buy a gift for H. I will not because H has an OW. It is that simple for me. I love him to pieces and would have liked nothing better than to have some gifts for H, but right now I cannot and will not do that.

I also look at the gift H bought for me....a nightie from Victoria's Secret. One does not just buy from that store for anyone. It is a special store where you pick out a gift for a special lady. I read volumns into that alone. Maybe I shouldn't.

M....please keep posting here. I read what you wrote to Mamanpc. I want you to feel like you have a place here regardless of what is going on. This place is for all of us...The support is invaluable. We don't always like what we are told BUT that is not always a bad thing. Regardless of the advice we DO use it to see if it pertains to our sitch or not. We all care about each other here.

I needed to write to you and tell you about my Christmas. I would have never thought I would have received a gift from my H again, and here I am. There is hope......I have worn my nightie for the past two nights even though H is not here. I feel closer to him.

I want you to have a wonderful holiday vacation with your family. Use it to recharge your soul. Come back from vacation and tell us how it went. I hope your H pays you all a visit. Anything is possible....

I want only the best for you...Warm wishes for a very happy 2009.

Please take care and keep the faith.....

Sanderika