Ignore the affair or throw him out?

[pearlharbr]

I've been posting over in Newcomers but I thought I'd come here to ask you guys specifically about dealing with a cheating partner. I have been trying to read a buch of sitchs but honestly at this point I'm a little burnt out.

I have heard/read conflicting advice so I thought I'd just ask for some brief responses. My DB coach tells me to focus on being a friend to my BF and not bring up the A. She wants me to be fun and friendly while GAL. But Puppy and others maintain that you cannot do this while the A is going on. This is where my gut is right now because how can I possibly act like nothing is wrong when he is blatantly cheating and lying?

So what has worked/is working for you? Are you ignoring your spouse's affair with the conviction that the OW/M will eventually go away because s/he isn't the cause of your problems? Did you expose the affair and kick your cheating spouse out?

I am currently struggling with the decision of whether to stay and fight or simply leave my relationship. I don't know if I have the patience and strength to practice DBing or even if I want him back at this point. I'm just looking for some guidance in this confusing, painful time.