Am I just supposed to say oh well and move right on? I think I could do that if I didn't really love her, but since I do love her that is very difficult.
I loved my H enough to let him go. I finally realized it would be more selfish of me to try and keep someone with me who didn't love me --even though I knew he did, and would someday regret losing someone he had such a long history with and who was extremely loving, accepting and supportive.
I knew it would only backfire for me to selfishly try to hold onto him, or try to talk him into staying if he all he wanted to do was leave. Quite honestly it was one of the most powerful and "freeing" lessons I learned. And the eventual acceptance and realization that I didn't want him back unless he was 100% certain he wanted to be with me. He had spent waaaay too many years yo-yoing. And I had spent waaaay too many years trying to convince him to stay. I felt is was unfair to the kids. And I finally realized I wanted to be married to someone who really wanted to be married to me.
So.... my point is that detaching, letting go, and moving on doesn't mean you don't love the person. In some ways it means you love them more.
But why the h@ll are you on the couch?!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
