My Heart is Breaking #12

[25yearsmlc]

Yeah it IS a weird time, good and bad. And NLT, your sitch was a fast ass one....

Geez, too fast. Nope, I don't think it's "romantic" of the OW and your h and all. The m was in part to justify the leaving, as in, their marrying "proves" it wasn't just an A...

So sorry for that. At least you have family to support you. My younger sister had a fast divorce too, when her h of 13 years surprised her with a d, and then remarried just 30 days later (shortest legal period in that state) and then said he and his new wife were having a baby, which he had never felt "ready" for when married to my sis. The OW had left her h for my sister's, and OW had 3 kids already so her ex h got dumped too....

My sister later remarried and later on, her h died (2 months ago). But She has never been the same since her first h left her, and even though she remarried a nice guy, who then got sick and died, she has been bitter and obsessive and a drag to be around almost the whole time. (But witty!) Before her remarriage and to some extent even after, She'd call the exh' phone machine to chk his messages and then checked HER own messages for the 30 days they were divorced, to see if he'd changed his mind. That was before she knew he was remarried...she had simply turned her entire life's activities and happiness over to her exh. She Carefully scrutinized photos of him with new wife (don't ask me how she got them) and stared at the signatures on the alimony checks to determine whether her exh was happy....she'd ask me if he "looked happy" in the pictures and delighted when his hair turned grayer and white...never mind HER OWN LIFE or happiness....she was "powerless by choice."

When my h was in the middle of his mlc, my other sisters warned me of when I began to sound like the powerless sister, and boy, that SNAPPED me right out of it and I read the DB books (I liked the Remedy one better, fyi) and got me on my program of GAL, etc.

Who knows why some MLCers come back and others don't? I know only what my DB coach said, which is that the road home needs to be paved and smooth and that you have to be a woman only a fool would leave.

FWIW, my cousin and my aunt, both divorced and later remarried their ex spouses. Bad news--took 5 years...and 8 years....GOOD NEWS--both said the 2nd time around was better. Hey, it happens.

So, GAL, do 180's for YOU, have a PMA and see what the new year brings.
To the new year and All of US...cheers!
( j )