{{{Tawnya}}}, I see your point on the Bible thing - but I guess if you read the "original" text the word adultery doesn't even mean a sexual relationship. I'm too frazzled with it - really, what it comes down for me is this: it would be the ultimate disgrace, and I would mentally completely close the door on her. I don't know if I would ever reconsider her after that point. That's what scares me. As far as EA, I actually told W the EXACT same thing - EA or PA is the same thing!
I felt like I approached it very carefully. She knows how I feel about the EA, so I basically said this: "I'm not mad, and I won't say a word to the kids. I will not be unkind, and I won't bring up again, but are you sleeping with him?"
I mean it too - if she says "Yes", it'll be the end of anything with us, probably forever, and I will not even honor her with my conversation.
If we had just started having problems a few weeks ago, instead of 2+ years ago, and if I hadn't done what I have done, it might be a different story.
Believe it or not, my PMA is still pretty good. I thought this would make me lose my mind. She hasn't responded it yet, but I'm 99% sure it'll be "yes" to the PA. (If it's no, I'm not sure what I'll do - I'm not going to ask every week)
If it is, I'll be OK - I think its this: my "hurt-meter" has pretty well maxed out, so another thing to pile on top doesn't really matter that much.
Again, I'm continuing the detaching - I'm going to stand by my course of action: 1. Told W I loved her more than anything 2. Told W I would do just about anything to save our family 3. I detached
Who knows what happens next? I'm not POed, but am pretty hurt, so I'm going to sleep on it for a couple of days. I will NOT let it ruin my PMA - going to go chill out with my kiddos!
