Hi Kalni, I do think I'll be sticking around...especially since I think you're completely right - that I haven't done the full cycle yet - and I'm sure there will be some more tough times ahead - especially when we get closer to the actual divorce - and my W's emotions/anger come out in full force again.
NW, how are you? I also agree with you that DBing is more about saving oneself than saving the marriage - and I think I've found the right path toward working on myself...I did wish that my marriage would be saved too, but it's just not in the cards.
I feel some sadness again today - a feeling of loss in my chest - almost as though saying it out loud here just made it more real in my heart. I've also let my family know my decision - so that's impacting me as well...I guess it's just that I now have to start thinking about what I'll do next once I'm back in California. I know of some mediators to talk with - and am just going to try to bring up the subject gradually and peacefully with my W - since I think it will likely lead to more explosives on her part...and that's just what I don't want any more of in my life - her anger.
I slept a lot today - which is unusual - but I think I needed it to fight off a cold that has been clouding my head these last few days.
