Making my own good karma!!

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, 25.

I've dealt off and on with panic disorder for the past 25 years. Some people get migraine headaches under stress....I get panic attacks. Actually I am pretty great under the stress itself. It's in the calm afterward when they hit. One of my triggers is my stomach. I have a very nervous stomach. (runs in my family). And it works both ways. If I get nervous, my stomach gets upset. If I get an upset stomach, it often triggers the anxiety. My brain just links the two together.

The last time I had the stomach flu, I just laid on the bathroom floor and wished I was dead because I couldn't keep down any meds to help with the panic attacks I was having one on top of the other. After about 8 hours of complete misery, I finally fell into an exhausted sleep and slept for 18 hours straight!

I think yesterdays episode was triggered by eating too much of my Mom's great food! I have been trying to get healthy for the past several months, and the past week I have not eat much at all due to my tooth problem (I have lost 45 lbs!), so yesterday I had decided I was going to eat whatever I wanted to and not even think about portions and how much fat or sugar it had in it. So, I ate too much, and my stomach got a little upset and...........I paid for it!

So, the house is now cleaned up and I am setting out to brave the wild tundra and crowds at the mall with my S17.

Oh, and don't worry about sounding pro-meds. I have been trying to get healthy and cut down "synthetic" substances, BUT I have long since stopped believing in the idea that there is nobility in sitting and suffering in silence! My Dr used to get on my case because I wouldn't take the med until I was really in a big panic cycle because I was afraid of it because it is addictive and I don't want to get into just popping a pill whenever I feel "weird". My doc said that at that point it was like taking a baby aspirin for a major migraine! And he told me he didn't worry about me getting addicted at all. So, I am now OK with taking something when I feel the real need.

Take care, 25, and I hope you and yours had a really great Christmas!

((((hugs))))