HH it is very important to do this right now and for at least 8 weeks, DO NOT PURSUE OR TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT AND WHY YOUR WIFE IS DOING THIS!!! Do not analyze her it will drive you insane, trust me on this. There isn't a damn thing you can do right now, other than yourself.
This is a quote form another posting I did over on my listing.
"You do not know this person anymore, she is a stranger to you. you will need to go throguh some phases with her to reapir your marriage. You will not need to do any of it while she is with him. She is moving on and so should you. Nothing I do is about her or for her. It is for me, my kids, my dog, the bird my friends....Not HER!. I love my W very much. She continues on with OM because she feels this is where she needs to be to be happy. whatever (hate that word)! I have forgiven a lot of what she has done. But I will not entertain being friends with her outside of these family gatherings until he is gone. My life is good without her. It would be better with her, but I cannot and will not hang my hat on it. God has talked to me, He has shown me things about myself I never realized. He has given me strength I did not know I had. He has shown me patience I never had and He has shown me true forgiveness. I have learned the power of prayer and I have learned to believe in myself again. I am very confident, have strong self esteem and I am very independent. She is not confident, licves in a world of self lies and self justification, has no independence worth bragging about and low self esteem. She has not rationlized her life and her choices because she has not realized these are mistakes. Her father told her the other night she is screwing her life up and making the ultimate mistake. I explained to him that she is not in a rational world right now. His GF told him the same thing. We both told him that when she does get to that point she will fall hard. You need to realize that your W may or may not really want to be friends. My guess is it is just antoher way for you to enable her life. If you are not comfortable being friends, then don't. If she is with OM, you are out. That is the short of it. You are out. I am out. We are out. I give you this, at the end of tis lesson, we are the prize. We will become the best people we can be because we need to reiscover ourselves and find the true self. To be the type of person we like, to be the type of person we would want to know, to be the person who can change peoples lives by just being involved in theirs. This is true self. I have done it. It is not hard. It is painful, but not hard. And once you discover yourself, staying true to yourself is very easy.
God bless, keep you safe. Make no mistake, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your tunnel. "
Your juorney for yourself is just beginining. Find yourself discover who you really are and either become that person or make changes to become that person. do not become a safety net. do not let her use you as a doormat. Self esteem, confidence, independence and a feeling of self are what you need. God will help you. You do not have to be religious, I am not. But I have become a believer. You have us here to bouncce things off of. You cannot fail in your journey, know this. If you fall, and you tell us, we will help pick you up, but thisjourney is yours. I never thought I 'd make it this far. I have learned much and continue to do so. No one can love you, if you do not love yourself.
