I am not familiar with your sitch but I appreciate your advice.
Finances is just a crazy hectic thing no matter how much money you have. When we first got married we had no money and yet we never fought about it because my hubby was in control of the finances so I never really worried about it. Then when he was gone for boot camp I took over and was fine because he was making a lot more money than we are used to. Then he got home and we did a hodge-podge job of everything sometimes missing a bill because we each thought the other had already paid or sometimes double paying a bill. So annoying! Then I lost my job and things got tight again and that was when things were unravelling anyways so it did not help at all. During our seperation it has been no big deal, until recently, because we each had our own accounts and delt with our share of the bills. But now it's tight and stressful! I want him to take over the finances again and he will once we move back in together but for now we are still working as a team to get bills payed and find money it's just stressful to try and balance it all out.
When he first got home and started looking for a job I never really nagged. I assumed he would find something quickly. But the longer this has dragged out the more naggy and controlling I have become. Which I hate! I have tried the "I trust you will get this worked out" speech along with "well you're trying your hardest" thinking it would motivate him to know that I was here and believed in him (which I do. . .I just think he is lacking direction and that is causing the hold up. He is quite ambitious when he can see the end result or the goal line if that makes sense) but still nothing happened. Then I slowly started getting more and more impatient which has led to the all out panic I feel now! Which has upped the nagging. Still nowhere near the level at which I used to nag but I can see it wearing on him. I try so hard to stop but I feel so out of control I don't know what else to do. And I have explained this to him and he says he understands and I think that is why my nagging is not bothering him that much, at least that I can see.
I am going to try and leave him alone and just trust him to work something out while I focus on my own thing. I have a job interview coming up so that should help. And he is calling to set up unemplyment today which will also help. As long as the bills are being paid I can wait this out a little longer it's just scary when you do not have enough money in your bank account to pay your basic expenses.
Sigh.
Something will work out soon. But between the ice storm and the holidays things have slowed down a bit but once everything gets going it should happen fairly quickly. Fingers crossed.
Thanks for the imput CL. It's nice to have a man's point of view.
