When do the tears go away ?

[whitneypinch]

Oh my god what you wrote is my ex to a T.
"Over time, I have realized that her behaviour is a self-destructive pattern that started LONG before I met her.
In many ways, I was the was the fly in the ointment in her long running path of self-serving, self-absorbed and selfish behaviour developed from childhood, teen drug use, and surrounding herself with ***-kisser friends, whose idea of real friendship is to simply pat her on the head to congratulate her self-destructive decisions as strong, independent decisions. Needless to say, all of her friends were and are marriage cancers. Certainly made the terrain of our M more difficult at best."

My wife is 100% the same as yours and even her parents have rewarded her financially for her behaviour. They also think it show strength on her part. If they only knew some of the stories of her past they would be physically sick.
When I met my W every friend and relative came up to me to say how great it was that I calmed my W down and how happy she was. Well, in the end I was not enough for her. Of course she still blames me for the whole damn thing. No self-reflection at all.

So yes, I will just continue on. My Ex contacted me and the kids during my past week with the kids. She was so syrupy sweet to me and of course I was a bit too kind back to her. She pulled away and was sort of mean to me. It actually hurts to have any contact with her. So I will continue on with no contact and she can pop in if she likes. The truth is all the new things that she is into are of no interest to me at all so I don't even know if I would be attracted to her if I just met her.