Awwww Puppy, I'm so sorry. It doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? And yet, it does--it sounds like a great family, a great friendship, but not a great passion. And passion is such a fragile thing. It feels deceptively strong and powerful, but in reality it's quite delicate. And once it's gone, it's so hard to revive. (I believe it has a lot to do with vulnerability, or at least it did for me.) And yet, all the rest is supported by that.
I hope that somehow, someday you rediscover passion.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012