HD, I hope you will stay... I know your words have been illuminating for me, and I think the community would be poorer without you. The process of letting go you are describing is one that is very familiar to me, although I am only at the very beginning of it. I too have felt addicted to my wife, or to my love for her, or her validation of me, or whatever... whatever it is, I have at times behaved like an addict. I guess at my stage of this process, I feel like I am still hopeful that W will fight her demons, as I am fighting mine... but I know that I cannot make that happen, I know that I cannot save my marriage alone. I can stop contributing to its destruction, but I can't "make" W do the same. So I worry that she won't keep fighting (although she seems to be right now, taking medication and going to therapy and trying, in admittedly small ways, to take some responsibility in our marriage; but what if she gives up, or decides she doesn't want me after all?), and then I will have to make a very difficult choice, and it inspires me to see how you have come through this and the way you are dealing with that choice. I'm hoping that it doesn't come to that for me, but I hope that if it does you and others like you will be here to help me through it.
May the Lord of peace send peace to all who mourn, and comfort to all who are bereaved. Amen.
Me: 33 Her: 39 M: 8 T: 10 K: D15, S4 Separated 10/30/08. My current thread
