Wandering Poster 47 - Insert Clever Phrase Here

[Choosing_Life]

I read "Passionate Marriage" early in my marriage and I don't think I was ready for it then. Not sure I'm ready for it now, but I do feel like the underlying philosophy is sound: a relationship is an opportunity for two individuals to share the experience of life, not an excuse for people to demand that their emotional needs be met by others. I have learned the hard way that validation by others is different from love, and that it is no substitute for validating oneself. Living that wisdom is still a daily challenge for me, but I pray that, like any other skill, it gets easier with practice.

Imagining sleeping in the same bed with my wife is a stretch right now. On the one hand, I want nothing more. On the other hand, I can't imagine it would be a very comfortable experience. Trust is shaky, sex is scary... Ack, what a situation. I have been pretty worried about "upsetting" my wife as well. I just feel like the connection we are re-establishing is so tenuous right now that it would not tolerate anything upsetting. Then I feel a bit resentful because I don't want to have to edit everything I say. Then I wonder whether part of love isn't considering how what one says will affect another's feelings. Then I wonder where to find the balance. Then I pray, because I don't know, but maybe God can help me find it.